MilaThePrincess

OK, so its Sunday morning.  We slept late, lounged in bed for a few, enjoyed our coffee, then Ken (my dear hubby) decides its time to whip up breakfast.  

Now, some history - he is 1/2 italian - 1/2 french - and a fantastic cook.   He 100% supports my quest to lose, as long as I am serious.    If I complain about my weight but not do anything about it he has problems-its the attitude.   If I am “fat” but put together and happy with myself - he is happy.   If I am unhappy, he is unhappy - and will not hesitate to call me on my crap and tell me to do something about it.  He doesnt say a word until I start complaining.    He has loved me at my LARGEST and at my thinnest.  

 He does the majority of our cooking.  He cooks from scratch - not a lot of box or canned or even frozen stuff, truly fresh “like his nana used to make” cuisine.    I dont enjoy eating out - frankly its not as good as his stuff.    He supports me by modifying the menu to accomodate my choice to eat low carb and healthy.   He modifys how he cooks it too.   Overall not so bad.  BUT, he comes from a big family  .. and is used to cooking in QUANTITY.   I am talking huge portions, lots of leftovers - we could feed at least 8 people at any given meal .. including enough for second helpings and letting them take some home.  

 So back to this morning, he meandered into the kitchen and starts doing his thing.  About 20 min later he hands me this omelette.  Its OMG delicious.    It seems healthy .. cooked in olive oil, portabella mushrooms, sauteed onions, little cheese for garnish.  The portion he served me - are you ready for it ….. 902 calories.   I about hit the floor.  So I show him my calculations … he says “its all healthy calories - not a carb in the plate - eat it”.    He served me a 5 egg omellete people.    It was phenomenal.   It took all my willpower to push it away and not eat the whole thing.   I ate 1/2 … 451 calories.   

Bless his heart - he meant well.   But heaping platefuls - ugh.     Growing up I was told to clean my plate.   Its so hard to stop eating when I am full.   I cant count the number of times I have eaten for my mouth, not my tummy.   I dont truly know if I can recognize when I am full.    I am trained to eat what I am served-period.

 So here is my question - how do others do it?  How do you train yourself to stop eating?   My will power is strong, but a lifetime of non-portion control is tough to change.   Any advice?

Well, I am dumping my trainer today.   I have been talking about it for over a week now.   He just isnt the trainer for me.   He is never at the gym at the same time I am.   Well, rarely.   He even forgot we had appointment this past Monday.    I dont want to hurt his feeligs, so I am going to  terminate the “relationship” with him the kindest way I know how.   What kills me is that I left him a msg yesterday, and it still has not been returned.  How do you tell someone he has totally failed without being mean  …. answer: you lie, and you blame scheduling conflicts so as to avoid bad gym karma.  I hate lying, but in my defense I dont want him to treat my new trainer with any animosity or think that another trainer “stole” his client.

Good news tho, the new trainer I have found  is on my schedule, has awesome goals, and is willing to let me and my  workout partner double up to save money on sessions.   He is very professional and wont let me officially be “his” until I work it out and officially resign with the old trainer.   That kind of integrity goes a long way with me.  

 Who knew there could be gym drama.   LOL    I wonder if this could be the first episode of “Snellville 30039″  - (Bonus for my buddies who catch the soap reference - HA)  

Wow, my first blog ever.    Here goes.     I am tired of being “the big girl with the beautiful face”  I know that I am not huge, but I am not the best me I can be.    I am the girliest-girly-girl I know, and I look in the mirror and am disgusted by what I see.   I have beautiful clothes I cant get into, and damn it .. that is so frustrating.    I have lost weight in the past by diet alone.   And then turned around and gained it all back.  I have clothes in sizes from 10 to 20 in my closet.    This time I am going to do it right.   Lifestyle change (long term) and excersize.